Why Slowing Down Was the Boldest Move I’ve Made
Because alignment isn’t built through urgency — it’s revealed in stillness.
“Someone out there is looking for you. Your skills, your experience, the value you can add to their life.” Abigail Rebecca, Human Design Business Mentor
Last week, I felt overwhelmed. This week, I feel grounded. Not because I did more — but because I paused. “Pause” isn’t new to me, but using it to intentionally shape a future aligned with my values? That’s new.
To the person stuck on the hamster wheel and still feeling invisible: it’s not your effort that’s off. It might be your alignment.
The Recovery Pause: A Foundation in Grace
“The power of pause” is a common concept in recovery. This first hit me when I went to a comedy show early in my newfound sobriety. The sketch went something like this…
When reacting to something that is happening; say getting feedback on a task at work
“First thought wrong” – Absolutely, my instinct is to fight or run, not a great look at work
“Second thought wrong" – My brain is starting to shift toward a more productive response, but it's likely not quite aligned yet.
It’s the third, fourth, or fifth thought that finally comes into alignment with the person of grace and dignity that I strive to be. Sometimes, I need the help of a trusted advisor to guide me toward that aligned response. This power of pause has saved me many embarrassments over the past decade.
The Business Flail: When Action Became Avoidance
But now, last week I was flailing in my business startup. Throwing spaghetti at the wall had become a series of fear-driven reactions: obsessively checking article views, crafting promo posts that weren’t gaining traction. It was exhausting. And it was taking my energy away from other aspects of my life such as health and connection. Harmful all-around. This week, I’m using pause to help me refocus where I Align & Thrive best – planning, writing, and showing up for others.
If you’re showing up every day and still feeling unseen, this isn’t judgment. It’s a whisper: you’re allowed to slow down.
This is where Abigail’s words helped me so much. It rang true when she said that ‘my perfect client is looking for me.’ I know this to be true. It also resonated with another thought that was burbling below the surface – most people will be drawn to my new digital product when they need it. I need to make it easy to find. Not force it onto those who may need it someday. Now that is a thought to pause on.
Stillness isn’t stagnation. Pausing isn’t failure. It’s strategy.
The Forward-Looking Pause
Someone out there is looking for what I have to offer. I believe that deeply. But if I’m reacting out of fear, I’m no longer in alignment with who I am. And if I’m out of alignment, how will they ever find me?
They’ll find me when I’m rooted in authenticity and open to connection.
That’s why I share; here on Align & Thrive, Healthy Experiments, or my business blog. Writing invites others in. It creates space for new perspectives to come through comments, Notes, and quiet DMs.
The greatest results don’t come from going it alone. They come from community through participating, listening, and contributing to something larger than ourselves.
And that’s exactly where I want to be.
Show Up, Don’t Shout
I have to show up for others. That means taking time to network and using that networking time to understand what others need. Not try to convince them they need my service, my writing, or my digital products. When I show up with a calm, open mind and heart, I may find that person who has been looking for me. I’ll learn more about what others truly need, which may shift my offerings to create even more value.
Today, I went to an online networking event. Not with a pitch deck or polished script, but with presence.
I listened. I asked questions. I got curious.
And what came from it? One referral, one client lead, and consultant I can lean on in the future.
Then I went for a run. Something the old me would’ve skipped to chase more potential leads.
This is what I mean when I say I’m not chasing, I’m building from alignment.
All this reflection has me Feeling Groovy.
Fun facts: The true name of this song (which I didn’t know) is The 59th Street Bridge Song. This concert and that bridge are both not far from my NYC apartment.
A New Kind of Momentum
I must pause. I must get curious. I must listen.
I used to pause to avoid disaster. Now I will use pause to design a life that aligns with who I am.
If you’re burning out from doing everything “right,” maybe it’s time to try doing what feels true.
This week, try pausing before your next post, pitch, or pivot. What changes when you lead from alignment instead of urgency? I’d love to hear what that pause reveals for you in the comments. 👇
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I liked this very much because you made it personal.